Finding Your Calm

A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

This e-book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, insights and also… links to additional research, articles and videos that can help support your learning.

Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
- Healing Journey
- Hoping For A Miracle

WHAT IS CO-REGULATION?
- How Do I Share my Calm?

WHY IS SELF REGULATION HARD SOMETIMES?

WHAT ABOUT SUPPRESSING EMOTIONS?
- Emotional Capacity
- Bucket Exercise
- What Does Suppression Look Like?
- Suppression & Trauma

POLYVAGAL THEORY, SUPPRESSION & CO-REGULATION
- What is Polyvagal Theory?

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
- Somatic Check In
- Vagus Nerve

TRIGGERS
- Are Others Responsible for Triggering Us?
- Identifying & Coping with Triggers
- Away from Suppression
- Disassociation & Avoidance
- Cognitive Dissonance
- Impacts of Mental Health
- Safe Place Visualization
- Head & Heart Exercises

INNER VOICE
- The Connection of Self Regulation & Inner Voice
- What Is Your Inner Voice Saying?
- Validating Yourself
- Self Care
- Inner Child Work
- External to Internal Validation
- Over-Analyzing Instead of Reflecting
- Processing Parent Guilt
- No Regrets!

CO-REGULATION
- Co-Regulation & Suppression
- Reacting To Your Child’s Emotions
- Communicating Emotions without Creating Codependency
- Unconditional Love & Acceptance
- Holding Space
- Co-Regulation Exercises
- Emotional Intelligence Reflection

REFRAMING OUR VIEW OF CHILDREN
- How Will They Learn to Behave?
- Why Aren’t They Listening to Me?
- Coercive Parenting vs. Responsive Parenting
- Reframing Defiance
- Crucial “Lightbulb” Moments of Responsive Parenting
- How Do We Teach Our Children Emotional Intelligence?
- We Will Never be Able to Achieve “Total Responsiveness”

CONCLUSION