Finding Your Calm E-Book

A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

This e-book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, insights and also… links to additional research, articles and videos that can help support your learning.

This book is written with the intention of supporting parents in developing the skills they need to co-regulate with their child and meet their emotional needs. It is based on my own healing journey, through parenting and so it is written with compassion for parents and children. We were all children once and that little person still lives inside us, trying to be seen and heard. Parenting often makes that connection to our little selves, hard to ignore. 

Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
- Healing Journey
- Hoping For A Miracle

WHAT IS CO-REGULATION?
- How Do I Share my Calm?

WHY IS SELF REGULATION HARD SOMETIMES?

WHAT ABOUT SUPPRESSING EMOTIONS?
- Emotional Capacity
- Bucket Exercise
- What Does Suppression Look Like?
- Suppression & Trauma

POLYVAGAL THEORY, SUPPRESSION & CO-REGULATION
- What is Polyvagal Theory?

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
- Somatic Check In
- Vagus Nerve

TRIGGERS
- Are Others Responsible for Triggering Us?
- Identifying & Coping with Triggers
- Away from Suppression
- Disassociation & Avoidance
- Cognitive Dissonance
- Impacts of Mental Health
- Safe Place Visualization
- Head & Heart Exercises

INNER VOICE
- The Connection of Self Regulation & Inner Voice
- What Is Your Inner Voice Saying?
- Validating Yourself
- Self Care
- Inner Child Work
- External to Internal Validation
- Over-Analyzing Instead of Reflecting
- Processing Parent Guilt
- No Regrets!

CO-REGULATION
- Co-Regulation & Suppression
- Reacting To Your Child’s Emotions
- Communicating Emotions without Creating Codependency
- Unconditional Love & Acceptance
- Holding Space
- Co-Regulation Exercises
- Emotional Intelligence Reflection

REFRAMING OUR VIEW OF CHILDREN
- How Will They Learn to Behave?
- Why Aren’t They Listening to Me?
- Coercive Parenting vs. Responsive Parenting
- Reframing Defiance
- Crucial “Lightbulb” Moments of Responsive Parenting
- How Do We Teach Our Children Emotional Intelligence?
- We Will Never be Able to Achieve “Total Responsiveness”

CONCLUSION