Finding Your Calm Audiobook

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A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, and insights.  This book is written with the intention of supporting parents in developing the skills they need to co-regulate with their child and meet their emotional needs. It is based on my own healing journey, through parenting and so it is written with compassion for parents and children. We were all children once and that little person still lives inside us, trying to be seen and heard. Parenting often makes that connection to our little selves, hard to ignore. 

This is an MP3 and can be listened to on any device you listen to MP3's on. It cannot be found on any other audio app.

“Parenting peels away the layers of who you try and pretend to be, until only your raw soul is left to bare. From that unprotected state we either begin to heal or lose ourselves in the lost layers of a reality that no longer exists.

Children are authentic and expect the same of those around them. We often don’t realize how detached we have become from our authentic selves, until our children come searching for that lost person. As children do, they keep searching, despite barriers. They demand authenticity and truth.

We so often need to connect with the child inside of us to understand the child in front of us. This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections and insights.” J. Milburn

NOTE: This is not a typical audiobook. I narrate the book myself which allows for me to add additional insight and commentary that is not found in the written version. It just felt like the most natural way to do it.

Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
- Healing Journey
- Hoping For A Miracle

WHAT IS CO-REGULATION?
- How Do I Share my Calm?

WHY IS SELF REGULATION HARD SOMETIMES?

WHAT ABOUT SUPPRESSING EMOTIONS?
- Emotional Capacity
- Bucket Exercise
- What Does Suppression Look Like?
- Suppression & Trauma

POLYVAGAL THEORY, SUPPRESSION & CO-REGULATION
- What is Polyvagal Theory?

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
- Somatic Check In
- Vagus Nerve

TRIGGERS
- Are Others Responsible for Triggering Us?
- Identifying & Coping with Triggers
- Away from Suppression
- Disassociation & Avoidance
- Cognitive Dissonance
- Impacts of Mental Health
- Safe Place Visualization
- Head & Heart Exercises

INNER VOICE
- The Connection of Self Regulation & Inner Voice
- What Is Your Inner Voice Saying?
- Validating Yourself
- Self Care
- Inner Child Work
- External to Internal Validation
- Over-Analyzing Instead of Reflecting
- Processing Parent Guilt
- No Regrets!

CO-REGULATION
- Co-Regulation & Suppression
- Reacting To Your Child’s Emotions
- Communicating Emotions without Creating Codependency
- Unconditional Love & Acceptance
- Holding Space
- Co-Regulation Exercises
- Emotional Intelligence Reflection

REFRAMING OUR VIEW OF CHILDREN
- How Will They Learn to Behave?
- Why Aren’t They Listening to Me?
- Coercive Parenting vs. Responsive Parenting
- Reframing Defiance
- Crucial “Lightbulb” Moments of Responsive Parenting
- How Do We Teach Our Children Emotional Intelligence?
- We Will Never be Able to Achieve “Total Responsiveness”

CONCLUSION